I quit my ineffective therapist and found a new one. He's awesome. I'm happy.

Your process is your process, but from my perspective, watching you struggle through this makes me sad. I've seen you hurt. I've seen you angry. And then I've seen you announce that you've decided to stay with your T to save the relationship.

And I thought, well, maybe I'm wrong. Maybe there's some arcane reason why it's a good thing for her to keep seeing this woman who has stripped her of emotional safety, diminished her feelings, and refuses to allow dialog on the subject.

And now you're here.

There are hundreds, nay, thousands of therapists out there. And almost any one of them would be better than your current one.

Your argument for staying is that you have so much invested with her. That's what we call the sunk costs fallacy. It causes people to throw good money after bad, because they've already invested so much that they can't bear to admit they made a mistake.

But here, it's worse. Because not only are you dumping screeds of money into this pit of emotional turmoil, you're putting your self worth, sense of well being and mental health on the line too.

And for what? For the return of an illusion which was temporary at best and completely unethical at worst?

There's a reason most therapists don't snuggle with their clients. Or coo lovingly to their own children in front of their clients, or any one of the half-dozen other completely unhinged things this woman has done with you and to you.

Here's what I think. I think you're going to continue to struggle with this and her. And then I think one of two things will happen. You will leave her, and find an ethical therapist who can actually help and you will feel empowered at having done so, OR you will continue this dramatic spiral of increasingly hurt feelings and eventually be one of the people posting 'my T terminated me' threads.

This woman is actively harming you and you know it. There's really only one choice to be made here, at this stage it really depends on whether you jump or will be pushed.