You didn't make your Ts sick. . . :-) Oh to have that power when we're angry at them, especially for "leaving" us LOL.

I've always been comforted by one of my best friends from high school who is a psychiatric social worker for the State of Georgia and does therapy. She is a breast cancer survivor! She was telling me about doing therapy and having such a health issue (and having to go to her own therapist!) and it just helped me see the whole picture better so when my T (or me!) had health problems over the years (we say one another 9 years) it didn't feel so scary.

I remember the first time my T got sick (before my girlfriend got cancer), she went home to her native country and got some sort of parasite and calmly told me about it when I asked (it was in her arm and her arm was bandaged) and it just seemed so "exotic" and I thought she was going to die! That was in about year 2 or 3 of our 18 year relationship (27 if you count the 9 years when I didn't see her between "bouts" of therapy :-)

But I know the lonely, don't know what to tell you about that. I'm glad you have 1 or 2 other things you're working on. That is what helps me most too, having other things to attend to. I hope the time before you see her again goes quickly for you.