You are grappling with one of the oldest truths of human existence. Why do bad things happen to good people while bad people not only suffer no consequences, they thrive? Religion and philosophy and satire all try to rationalize the very evident madness, but no one source provides answers for everyone. Worse yet, some of us find no rationalization from any quarter.

I don't know the answer for you, but if you are good -- and you are -- you deserve life, not death. I am in the process of making a painful decision to extinguish ties with a situation poisoned by narcissism and denial as you describe. I failed to change the "other" and it hurts. I will never forgive, and believe forgiveness is a tool of masters to control the weak.

I'm sorry my posting cannot answer your pain and anger. It's just an expression of solidarity and heartfelt hope for your future. As I told a friend who asked if she should end it all when her adult child rejected her plea for help, "No you should live on that much longer to see her life's path and independently grow your own garden."