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Originally Posted by ruh roh
You're probably right that your mc can't take you on as an individual client. I don't know the guidelines around that. I only know one person who was in couples counseling. She wanted to continue with the therapist after her relationship ended, but the therapist wanted to wait a couple years, and then would agree only if the other partner was okay with it.
As for switching individual therapists, it really depends on what issues you have left to work on. From your posts, it sounds like your pain is coming from marriage counseling. Would it help to find another mc, rather than a new individual therapist?
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That could be a slightly different situation if her relationship ended. I'm still with my husband, and I assume he'd consent. But MC seems like he'd want to be careful with boundaries, so I could see there being some of waiting period if he'd even agree to it. It's just kind of weird because often in there we'll end up talking about stuff that's my issues (like my relationship with my parents, etc.), and MC and H seem fine to work on that stuff (probably because my issues ultimately affect my marriage), so some weeks I feel like I'm getting bonus individual therapy. And then I did have those couple individual sessions with MC a few months ago around the transference thing, plus we talked on the phone a couple times recently to attempt to address other things. (As you likely know, since you've commented on some of those threads I believe.)
Regarding your second point, I considered that too. Actually I don't even know how much we need counseling right now, since things are going better. (We initially went for one problem, then another issue cropped up, then a quieter period, then transference stuff.) Rather ironically, the whole transference thing seemed to make us a bit closer--after some initial concerns (completely understandable!), H has been very supportive of me. I think H is partly OK with continuing to go to marriage counseling because he knows that MC (until very recently) helps me, too. Plus he likes MC and enjoys talking to him. Not sure how he'd feel about someone else or, as I said, if it's totally necessary.
And yeah, recently, many of my issues have centered around stuff with MC. I think I was just hoping I could get that stuff worked out, whether with him or with another T. I tend to feel weird talking about that stuff with my T because they're colleagues and friends. And when I'm talking to her, he's right next door in his office. Like I might do better processing all that if it was someone who didn't know him. I've also been reading another thread on here and wondering if I just need to take a temporary or permanent break from seeing MC. And/or a temporary break from therapy all together.