Quote:
Originally Posted by feralkittymom
That being said, I don't think fantasy in "real" relationships after a certain point (like the "honeymoon phase") is always healthy, because it keeps blinders on us and we continue to block out the negative aspects of someone or aren't see something for what it really is. Learning to adopt certain untruths can keep one in an unhealthy, even abusive situation. Of course there are traits we don't like about every one, but I don't think we fantasize that they aren't there in healthy relationships, I think we learn to accept those traits.
This^ isn't at all what I've said.
b) we both change in ways that complement each other and the relationship grows/ changes in a good way
This^ reflects my point. The changes we make are conscious and freely chosen.
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I apologize for misunderstanding your point. I guess mine is a bit different anyway, in that I don't think this T isn't suggesting that there is/was anything fake about the therapeutic relationship. I think she is trying to get the OP away from ruminating over what she had with T1. I think she used the term fantasy to remind her that the memories are no longer the reality and to help her stay engaged in the present.