Your mom's knee jerk rather hostile denial of the depth of your illness and the possibility of suicide just may be coming from a place where she is scared shitless of losing you. I have found this. Sometimes the people who love us the most can be the most unsupportive....in the way that we really need in that understanding that you need this type of way. She obviously loves you more than anything and is very supportive in the way that she can and wants to support you.