Thank you everyone, reading the exchange that has taken place on this thread since I last logged on has been really useful to me, there has been lots of useful perspectives, and the one thing that has been universal to all the posts is that I have found them all very supportive, and I really appreciate that
I do think 'fantasy' was quite an emotive word choice from my T, and I can see both sides of that debate and I can see a lot of it depends on interpretation. It still doesn't sit 100% well with me and really I agree with PinkFlamingo that it more resembles mourning, though FKM has a point that fantasy/projection exists to a point in all relationships. Lauliza, I agree that T wasn't trying to suggest it was fake and was trying to help me look forward. Thanks for that.
Thanks JustShakey, its helpful to know that these feelings will change eventually.
This thread has been so useful for me to process this. For the first time I have realised that my changing relationship with H has affected my feelings for T1. Shame I'm not seeing T for nearly two weeks so its a while before I can discuss this!