Quote:
Originally Posted by BayBrony
I wish I knew how to advise you. If your therapist had ever admitted fault with the holding you thing I would really encourage you to keep trying. Because I feel overly attached, emotional, feel heartbroken being separated from my T--- and she says this is a normal part of dealing with my fundamental wounds. Part of you DOES become very childlike and dependant. She says it's very very hard and when therapy gets very tough. We focus on teaching my adult mind strategies to deal with the upset child emotional self. We also work in session to reassure that child part of me. It's hard and it hurts. What my T keeps reminding me is it isn't my relationship with HER that is creating the pain, it's how my relationship with her touches those deep unsealed wounds. So at some point therapy, at least for deep seated trauma issues IS really hard and painful.
However I think your therapist just either isn't very good or else has some kind of block where you are involved. Other therapists are out there. The way she handled the touch thing seems so cruel to me.
|
No, she never admitted fault. It was something that was never discussed before she started doing this, or during. Or even after. It wasn't discussed until almost a month went by and I realized she wasn't offering it anymore (it wasn't every session, and was only for the last few minutes of a session when it was). So I brought it up to her. I was hurt that she didn't tell me in the beginning that this was a temporary boundary crossing for her. I was hurt that she didn't talk to me about any feelings behind it, or that she even told me when she took it away. So I wasn't upset that she took it away so much, but that she wouldn't discuss it with me, or let me know it was only temporary. She said at that point if it hadn't been that that caused a rupture, it would have been something else. So she carries no blame in how she handled things. And I say she should have discussed it with me if not before or during, when she decided to take it away. I asked her prior to this about boundaries, and she pretty much listed off just one, and that was no gifts. Well by then I'd already done a painting for her and given it to her....she didn't say anything at the time. So no, she doesn't think she handled anything incorrectly at all. If she would consider admitting she should have done something different, I think I could move on. She also won't tell me what exactly made her decide to stop. Because I feel it was a disclosure I made. She assured me that nothing I did made her stop, but she won't tell me what did.