Tomorrow I have a 3 hour session with my therapist. 9am-12pm. It's the first time I've ever done one like this... And I'm so freaking scared!
I have MPD/DID, as well as PTSD, depression etc etc. The majority of the session is to help my little ones with abusive childhood memories to get the "bad stuff" out. They get really emotional between sessions and have nightmares, spending most nights up "triggered" in flashbacks - thinking we are stuck in the past. It's been bad enough lately that the T wants to do this session for us.
But - what if we freeze? For months we have wanted to just go in and "freak out" to let all the garbage out. To ball up, cry, and scream in front of her about the crap we feel. But we "numb" ourselves, and keep ourselves in control so that we look ok.
How do I use this extra time to our advantage? What can I do to prepare even a little? And how do I keep myself from being so scared before going in?
Hope this made sense....