I divorced my ex after 31 years of verbal and physical abuse. I certainly understand how you feel; that was 14 years ago; he has someone in his life and I am alone.
I am still struggling with forgiveness; pray about it, etc., etc.....there are no answers unfortunately and I send love and hugs to you.

Perhaps writing a letter of "restorative justice"---most important words I ever heard...meaning; this is what you did; this is how it made me feel......You can choose to send or not send it, but writing it all down, might make you feel a little better.

I am a writer, and I think my writing has helped so much. xo