Instead of providing a long-winded intro/background into what I'm about to delve, I'm simply going to jump right in and welcome input from anybody who can relate. I'm simply too tired to keep writing about my misery. I've only been a member here for like 3 weeks, and all posts before this, have been adjusted by moderators as having "triggers" which isn't my intent. I just have a lot on my mind, as I suppose we all do, and am still learning how to properly navigate and utilize this site and its resources.

I am interested in death. Be it the science behind death, the study of decomposition or the actual physical processes of both brain death and bodily death, not to mention, the philosophical implications that accompany the line between actual death, brain death and bodily death. The reality is simply that death is truly still nothing but blurred lines to modern science. For all the credit our medical community gives itself...death is still a true mystery. And quite honestly, THIS continues to scare the mass public. Death is a topic we as society avoid. We don't think about it, we don't discuss it...yet we ALL KNOW it is our inevitable fate. We literally fear it. Do I honestly fear death? Superficially, I say "no" but in all reality am still not sure. However based on my research...I maintain that I do not. However...having never faced my own mortality, I honestly cannot say for sure.

But in my readings I have become fascinated with the subject of NDE's, Near Death Experiences, for those unfamiliar. These are stories of people who found themselves clinically dead...no heart beat, no blood flow and no brain activity. For all intents and purposes, literally, dead. And yet they have amazingly lucid and conscious experiences whem it should be physically impossible.

For any who may have happened to read this...I apologize. My train of thought utterly derailed. None of this matters. Nobody wants to hear me ramble. This is why I alienate my friends and family...because I scare them. I didn't see an option to simply delete this thread and won't be surprised if it gets me kicked off the site. Nobody understands me, shares my interests or wants to hear what I have to say.

Do me a favor...ban me. I've been banned from other forums and sites. Its just all wrong. Me, my opinions thoughts and very existence.

Just ban me.