Counting measures something given and something taken away. This is perfectly normal assessment of status that everyone does throughout life. Small children have to learn to evaluate what they have and what they lack or need. Counting, too, is a fundamental cognitive skill that goes on in later childhood to base arithmetic and learning in school. If counting is disquieting because it seems too frequent or lasts to long, it becomes 'obsessive,' meaning that there is some concern about what the person gives or has given and what is or has been taken away. So, the real issue is not the counting, as such, but the person's concerns about 'balances' in life, like losses in the past or anxiety about losses in the future and the wish for gains to replace the losses. It is difficult to overcome traumatic losses, or any loss, really. So, it's less important to worry about being 'obsessive' or having 'counting mania' than to figure out how to compensate feelings of loss by feelings of gain.