I haven't been on for almost six months. Things went from bad to worse in February in regard to my former schizophrenic boyfriend. He is the love of my life and as i turned 66 in May its definitely not a crush...I don't go to the clinic anymore as they just want to warehouse me because I cannot get over him...he filed another injunction against me and the jp granted it against me ex parte. I had written him several emails trying to get him to respond to me as he was blocking all attempts to contact him....he has been very delusional and hearing command hallucinations for the last almost two years and so there was a judgment against me. I was denied a chance to defend myself as she granted his injunction ex parte so I appealed it. I was able to shout over her at the end of the proceeding and voice my concern that as a paranoid schizophrenic he was dangerous and likely to hurt or kill someone. Imagine my shock and depression when I found out that due to my appeal he had hired a lawyer against me. This man who claimed to love me so very deeply just dropped me and hired an attorney. I am indigent and have no money but was able to write my reply brief to his attorney and am appealing it to the superior court. My goal is to get him involuntarily evaluated and hopefully committed though I am leaving the country if I can raise the rest of the money i need before the end of the year...I am hoping once I get the case against my ex straightened out and hopefully get an oral argument with this judge....he is a good judge and will be fair I hope as he has been in the past....I feel so sad and lost even after all of this time...Michael was the love of the twilight of my years and now I am so lost without him and lonely...HELP! If I take any more drugs for depression and sadness they will commit me for life..I don't know how to feel better. I am physically handicapped and live with my Asperger's son..I am going to be taking classes this fall but am so sad at times that I barely make it through the days...will I ever feel better? And can the judge have him evaluated based on what i said in the lower court? Or do I have to go to a hospital to do that? No one there was willing to do anything but now that he filed an injunction against me based on his delusions I hope that someone like this judge will have him involuntarily evaluated...