So, this is my first time posting in a specific thread. This is the closest personality issue I could find for what I am feeling. I would say I likely have more than one problem, and that they all tie in together. Let's start from the beginning. Although it's very hard to admit, I have become a person who has talked about self-harm to get the attention of others. Not just random people, just people who have become very close to me. It's as if I panic in a situation and the words just fly right out, but I would never do anything to take my own life. This is my first time every really talking about it, and I wrote it out last night to make it real. I always pushed the issue to the side. I also have a very negative mindset. I think the worst of a situation, but then try to avoid the fact that I am being so pessimistic. The more I think about it, the more I realize I have been avoiding many things. Not so much social activities, but more so my own faults. I avoid admitting my mistakes in a relationship, as if I need to come up with an excuse to make myself feel better. But really, I just need to call myself out and get my life in order. My life is wonderful and I have everything to be thankful for, but I would love to be a more positive person. Almost like a kid when they are young and have no worries. I feel that having such a negative attitude causes me to want to hear from someone that they need me (the attention part), makes me avoid my faults and failures, and in turn makes me say really stupid things. I am hoping that by writing and talking to people on here, I can learn some of the underlying factors and take charge of my life again. I really look forward to hearing from anyone and their thoughts about what I can do to take steps in the right direction. Thank you for all of your help, and just being here in general.