I wish that I could find it in my heart to forgive you, my pedaphile for the 3 long years that you abused me. I wish that I could forgive the school system that did nothing.

I am afraid that by not forgiving you that I put my own soul in jeophardy.. and I go back and forth between hating you and forgiving you.

The physical pain, the terrible awlful physical pain.. no child should be sodmized.. not over and over...

I find myself judging other males, by the influnce of you..
wondering "and YOU... YOU there are you a pedaphile?"

and I wonder... perhaps that is the thing that I cannot forgive the most.. maybe all men are like you? I do have to wonder.

so for now, I hate... maybe tomorrow, I forgive..