Yes, I am not surprised that happens ((Trace)), try talking yourself "slowly" through that part. "Yes, I know that did happen, it was a very hard experience for me too. I don't like it, but it was "his" choice and all I can do is my best to respect that choice and pray for him to be at peace now." Trace, you can choose to take some time quietly and talk to him and tell him you love him and that you are having a hard time with that part.

((Trace)), it is normal to have a lot of emotions, grieving is not a quick process, especially with your father's final choice. But that is not all of him, he has shared things with you that are good too. It is hard to see that through the PTSD lense.

((Hugs))