My husband's grandfather (who is like my grandfather) is having surgery on Wed. He almost died (in fact *I think* he did die and they brought him back) the last time he had surgery which was fairly recently. He turned 79 today. He said to my husband and me, "well, if something goes wrong on Wed, I'll see you both in Heaven." I almost burst into tears; I turned my head, did all I could to distract myself and cried all the way home. I can't handle his loss right now. If you pray, please say a prayer for him. I hope everything goes well. I'm trying to keep the "I'm sure it will go fine" attitude about the situation.

Other than that, my day was not great. I am sure I seemed aloof, if not *****y, to my husband's family (mine are out of town) at least a good portion of the time I was at both his mom and dad's and his grandma and grandpa's. I was just too discouraged. I know the world doesn't revolve around me and not everything is about me but I currently bear no relief. I am sad; I feel desperation. Thank you all for listening to me, for caring about me, for supporting me, and for all of your love and hugs. You honestly help me go through life these days and I don't know what I would do without you and your listening ears (or reading eyes )