I can understand, except the only meds I'm afraid to take are AD's because they make me manic (tried two, both did the same thing, second one even when I was on a mood stabilizer too).

For AP's I've only been on abilify, zyprexa, risperidone, and seroquel. Abilify made me restless and agitated (akashia? Spelling on that is probably wrong), and it gave me an annoying eye twitch, so I wasn't on that very long, but everyone is different.

Right now I take seroquel. Out of them all it works the best for me, besides the slight weight gain and seroquel sweet tooth.

Actually, I hate seroquel because it works so well for me! I stopped taking it because it was making me fat, became severely unstable and suicidaly depressed, and now that I've started it again I feel much better. Even our babysitter commented on how much better I seemed because I was smiling and laughing and apparently I haven't done that at all in about a month!

Zyprexa caused major weight gain for me, in a very short period of time, but worked. Like rainbow, I think I do better on the sedating AP's.

Anyway, I guess my point is that everyone reacts differently.

Oh, and I agree with everything christina said.

Good luck! Try not to be scared. Hugs.