Sorry for being so silent. I don't know why i was planning on going if I don't want meds. I would like to try medications but I have someone in my life who is very controlling and won't allow it. They have seen another family member suffer with schizophrenia and not get good help coupled with their own poor experiences with doctors limits my opprtunities too see a psychiatrist. Sorry if I am rambling, it's late and I should be sleeping.

The only reason I want to see someone is because I need relief from symptoms. Isn't that the reason anyone goes? I have weekly violin lessons, and I was shaking so much I couldn't play. It wasn't because I was cold, but instead I was so afraid to play in front of one other person. I can no longer shower at night, because of "visions" of terrible things happening to me and my loved ones. I was also recently diagnosed with a bowel issue that took me years to say anything about because I couldn't work up the courage to say anything. I am sorry if I wasted your time, I just really needed to say this because I have very limited opportunities to talk about this. But yet again are these really symptoms of a anxiety disorder? I have had a growing number of panic attacks within the last month as well. I just can't get the courage to make that first call.

:group hug: