It took me 13 years to stop wishing bad things upon my kid's father. Now I just want him to do well so my kid has a good life.
He wasn't physically abusive,it was all emotional abuse and making me feel like I was constantly crazy. Oh and the cheating and lying.

I'm still working on my feelings of ill will toward my ex husband,whom I don't have a child with but still have to deal with him because he's part of the company where I work. I imagine it'll take several years but it will eventually fade.
Sometimes a person is so bad that forgiveness is highly overrated. I think leaving that person out of your mind is better for you than forgiveness. Just make them cease to exist in your head when they aren't right in front of you. It's tough but not impossible.