I'm wondering if it's really a matter of trust?

Let me give a non-spiritual example.

Way back when part of one leg, just above and at the knee was injured, and swelled up immensely. After countless hours waiting for the MD at his office (they failed to tell him emergency) I was whisked out the back door to the hospital and admitted. After a few days in the hospital I was released and the MD told me to "stay off your feet... total rest!!!"
Well, being a very active person at the time, I did the best I could but finally did use crutches to stand and wash the dishes one day. When the MD heard about it (can't recall how he did) he went "ballistic" and yelled at me because "You have a blood clot in your knee and it could have killed you!"

Now. IF the MD had just told me that, about the blood clot, of course I wouldn't have moved..I mean I would have used the toilet while lying down So I really didn't trust the MD did I? In HIS discernment as to what I really needed to do.

To me, to ask God, "Why" is saying, "I don't really trust Your judgment on this God, did You really have a good reason to let this occur?"

But yes, I can see where God uses patterns to teach us to obey, to follow and we keep going through similar events until we "get it"...but I've never known Him to tell me the Why of something, the learning curve was for me to work it on my "own"....