Hi RichardBrooks...

I'm sorry you're having such a hard, crazy time with relationships. It does sound confusing. I had a couple thoughts...

1. When we first meet people, we only have a limited amount of data. So, people tend to fill in the rest with their imagination (some of us perhaps more than others). When the ladies are initially pursuing you, it's possible that they've made some assumptions about who they think you are, based on their own fantasies and very little data. It's possible that once they get to know you, some of those fantasies turn out to be wrong. This isn't really your fault... partly it's just something that happens, and partly toss it up to a bad match ("Oh, she was dreaming of someone that wanted to retire the countryside, run a vineyard, and have 12 kids and rescue feral cats. OK, I'm not the guy for her!")

2. You mentioned Asperger's. My understanding is that folks with Asperger's can have a really hard time reading others' emotions and reacting appropriately. Could this be contributing? If you're not noticing or reacting appropriately to emotional cues, that *could* come across as you not caring about the other person. If you haven't tried talking to a counselor yet about this, it might be helpful. I imagine they can help you learn to better navigate the emotional stuff, as well as understand how you may appear to others.

3. I want to second/third/etc what others said. It's possible that what ever you're disclosing, or how you're "opening up", is not coming across the way you intend. Again, this might be complicated by the Aperger's. Even without Asperger's, it can be hard to know what and how much to share, and how early to share, because everyone has a different tolerance. One woman might feel really touched to know more about your background, and another might feel like it's too much, too fast, overwhelming, and a red flag.

4. Finally, something someone told me once: dating is a numbers game. Some people get lucky and meet the love of their life with the first, or second, or third person that they date. But really, there's no guarantees. Just because the first 100 women you date don't end up being good matches, doesn't mean that you won't strike gold with 101. You have to keep trying.

That said, I agree that it might be helpful to talk to a therapist/counselor. I think they can help you determine if the Asperger's is causing problems, and what you can do to circumvent those problems if they exist. They can help you look at the patterns in your relationships and see if you're unconsciously picking women that aren't good matches for a reason, or if you're attracting a certain type of woman. They can help you understand how you interact, what your values and boundaries are, and how to maintain your self-worth in the brutal dating arena.

Good luck to you, and don't give up!