question...has your therapist talked with you about fetishes....reason i ask is you asked if we think this is a little inside you. since you are in the dissociative boards Im guessing you want to know if this is an alter (in other words a dissociated part of you)

well we cant diagnose that only your treatment providers can do that but I can tell you what you posted would be called in my location....

here in my location when an adult wishes, desires and wears diapers for self nurturing (or other reasons that go beyond taking care of an incontinence problem) is diagnosed with a fetish.

here in my location there is a difference between fetishes and switching into alters and being co conscious with alters that wear diapers.

the first difference here in my location is how its diagnosed. if the person is not diagnosed with DID or OSDD (diagnostic criteria americans go by is in my signature line) here in my location then the desire\wish to wear diapers for self nurturing is usually addressed as a fetish. (fetishes here have two categories..non sexual and sexual)

the second difference in my location is how the person who has this desire\wish to wear diapers.. perceives this action...do they talk in terms of an alters desire\wish or do they perceive it as their own desire\wish...

example one of my fetishes ..desires\wishes\ when I want to self nurture is wearing child like pajamas...they are soft, warm, comfortable. I always perceived and talked about this from the first person point of view (I want, I desire, I need a new sleeper, I want a pink sleeper this time)

example of switching into an alter or being co conscious with an alter who wears "sleepers"...(co conscious)Rainy wants to wear her pink sleeper, rainy is feeling sad, do you know where her sleeper is,I can feel rainy, she feels emotional right now, she wants her green sleeper, Rainy needs a new sleeper can you pick up a pink one, during the times I was not co consciousness I would become aware and see that Rainys Pj's were in the wash but not know how they got there or when or even feeling rainys needing them...

another example of a normal part of self\fetish vs having a dissociative part here in my location is other accompanying symptoms. theres more to having dissociative parts then just wanting and desiring something like wearing diapers...treatment providers here look at whether the part is functioning just like a separate person/identity in all areas of life...using my Rainy as an example when I switched into rainy not only did rainy wear "sleepers" but the body posture, was that of a child. the voice was that of a child, the thought patterns was that of a child, the switching happened not only when I was home or alone, it would happen at any time in my life and anywhere in my life. having a dissociative part with DID affects all areas of a persons life, not just their private time.

maybe you can talk with your treatment provider and have her clarify whether this is a normal child with in /fetish part of you or dissociative type switching. the reason I suggest this is because the treatment is different if this part of you is a normal part of you of having a fetish vs having a dissociative part who needs to wear diapers. if you were in my location how your treatment provider is treating this is the same way that my treatment provider deals with my fetishes. when it was an alter\dissociative type mood switch my treatment provider had me and the alter doing trauma therapy (delving into the trauma that created this part, delving into the triggers that caused me to switch into that dissociative part, learning grounding and other tools that help prevent dissociation and promote mindfulness\remaining in the present moment rather than the past\altered state of mind/learning how to express appropriate emotions and lots of other things that come with treatment for dissociative problems.)

Im sorry we cant diagnose whether this is a dissociative part or not with in you.