To me, borderline is the altering of reality to better suit your life and emotions. To always want to be #1 and to always want to be on top. To change "you" to become loved by any and everyone. Yet when you change "you" in that moment it feels so real. I dont know who I truly am, I dont know my likes and dislikes bc they are always changing to impress others and become wanted. Borderline to me is a nightmare. I hate that Im this way but Im fixing it, Im getting help. I have never had a stable relationship or a friendship. I either love you or hate you and in my opinion everyone hates me so therefore I try to make that change by becomeing the person I think they want me to me. I SI to feel I exist and that Im alive. I lash out either at myself internally or at others to them or in my head. I fear hurting people, in fact it is my biggest fear but I do it all the time, never intentional but I do. Im textbook borderline but Im lucky enoughto have a husband who understands the disorder and eals with it and helps me through my struggles. Feel free to PM for more info into my little world!!