Hello Bebop, I just posted a reply and came back to the thread and seen you just posted this. Thanks so much for your support.. It really helps to hear others who have dealt with the same thing!

You do really know what I am dealing with, and yes 2 addicitons!!!! It is incredibe the amount of stress this puts one through! Once you think your in the clear for a while with the one addiction the other one comes up and slaps you in the face and knocks you back down again.

Funny though how even though they put you through hell how you can still love them at best isn't it?
I still keep thinking "WOW what just happened here" !! I just got married and in fact this week was our honeymoon last year! and this year same time we are divorcing.

I really have to keep on track with the right thinking here that this man I loved is so unstable, how could I have let myself be taken in by him? Why couldn't I have seen this before we got married???

Even though I feel quite panicky and overwhelmed right now, I just have to keep thinking forward and knowing a better life is somewhere out there even though it may be by myself only.

I do know what you mean by loving him with all your heart and finally have to leave. If he does want to try a reconcile he will have to shape things up quite a bit or I just know it will end up right back here again.

Thanks for your helpful advice, its much appreciated!!