i am still really struggling today. i managed to get through work, but things feel really unsettled inside. i keep trying to make sense of it, but i can't...there are no images...no real feelings besides intermittent anxiety, panic, and crying for a few seconds...and it feels like some moments things are going to explode inside..and then it calms down again. all i can do is sit through it and feel it...and it's very difficult.

i feel almost like i'm drunk or something because of the dissociation. it started not long after i woke up this morning and has been going on on and off the last few days...but i didn't really know it was happening and have been confused for days. i don't lose time...it's just..this drunk-like feeling that makes things feel very strange...and then i don't always remember a few hours or a day or two after if it lessens again....except it's still me typing this..so..i'm not understanding how this even works.