"I know logically that I would only push them away..no one can deal with these emotions..no one understands unless they too are truly bipolar"

You would push them away, because you want to see if they are coming back to give you a helping land.

Although I cannot be fully certain I can understand your situation, but I can really relate a lot even though I haven't been through them.

What makes you think you have nothing to offer? You've been yearning for someone to love you as much as you can love them, that means you are definitely someone who appreciates every ounce of love nurtured and could give it back tenfolds