I never in all my life would have thought that a simple (or not so simple) move away from California & to a very very small town in Kentucky would be my cure to depression & bad anxiety. It didn't get rid of anxiety, just the bad kind.

I have been away from here for quite some time...& came back with a post under the new members heading. Guess I wrote a too long & boring post about what I am going through so I only got a few people that even looked at it & a couple of closer people who responded

I have been amazed at what a change this last 2 months have made in my psychological condition. Being alone, taking care of myself & getting my house set up all by myself has showed me exactly what "I CAN DO" & what I wouldn't do when I was in California.

Here, I am a contractor, a carpenter, a mechanic (I took apart my new lawn tractor & installed the mulcher), a pool cleaner, a masonary person, a pressure washer (my decks were all green), a painter, an electrition (instaling new electrical boxes & switches), a plummer (my kitchen sink drain was backed up & the pipes were leaking), designing my horse area....the barn, the dressage arena, & the complete lay out & design that I am putting into the wooded acres at the back of my farm.....& probably dozens of other miscalenous tasks that come when you are complete by yourself.

I have the task of coordiating the painting, carpet laying, garding, gravel laying, & the overall design of my new farm. It is so exciting that I don't have time to even think about those past issues that were haunting me with the PTSD & the depression that has been going on for over 12 years. I have never felt better in my life. I am challenged & enjoying every minute of the day & looking forward to the next. I love being able to depend on myself & not being disappointed by someone that I am trying to depend on that is around me. I have bet the kindest people in the world. The people here are even better than family.....they care more than family cares & are always here for me. They are teaching me about the things I know nothing about & there isn't a day that goes by without learning at least 100's of new things.

I still get anxiety & now that I am sensitive to anxiety, I realize that the excited feeling I am getting is really good anxiety.....but it is getting things done, not paralizing me.

Anyway, it is good to be back.....I can't check up on everyone because so much time has passed, Hope things are going better for others here than they were when I left.

Take care,
Debbie