When traumatic things happened to me in my past and when I'm triggered back into that place now. I don't think I'm able to discern whether other people are doing what I feel they should. I'm numb. Silent. Secretive.
My experience is no one was there then. So I don't feel I have the right to expect people to be here now.
My mind is stuck in the 'event' I am almost comatose. Sitting, unable to even breathe my spit back up.
I can't protest. I learnt it was pointless. It's a hopeless place.
It seems you're coming from a place of hope our else other people's letting you down wouldn't register.
I'd start from there