I know I can't be the only person in the world who does this. Sometimes, when life seems so bad that I just CAN NOT go on, I think of ways to kill myself. But the thing is, I don't really want to die, I just want to end the pain. When I was a teen and felt this way, I would hide in my room or the bathroom and cut my legs. I can't do this now because I know someone would notice (my husband) and I am afraid they (he) would try to use it against me. I don't want my kids taken away from me, so I refrain. But where's the pain suppose to go? When I would cut, instead of feeling it emotionally, I'd feel it physically and for some reason, that made things better for a while. Now, though, I can't take the chance of someone finding out. So what am I suppose to do? I can't drink because I'm not a "happy drunk." If I'm in a bad mood before drinking, I end up in a worse mood afterwards. I am afraid to take drugs, so that's a no-go.

What am I suppose to do?