So, I'm a liiiittle special. I should not be allowed to send 4AM emails. This is what I sent to my pdoc.

Yes; I am sending you an email at 4 AM. Why? Because I left OLP after waiting (literally) more than 5 hours, feeling mostly paranoid of the vast amount of people and the overwheming sea of voices, for an intake assessment. What were the results of the assessment? Oh, just that the psychiatric IOP is full and I shoud contact you for directions. Joy! My favorite part was when the person doing the assessment said "I know of only one place that may do evening IOPs, but it is mostly for the severly mentally ill." (Read, "I know of only one place that may do evening IOPs, but it is not for cute, polite, little nicely dressed red heads") Now, I'm not exactly living on the streets but Good Lord does that drive me insane; I hate when someone assumes I'm not that sick because of how I look!!!

As for the IOPs, you and I were both correct. They do offer an evening IOP but it is only for substance abuse/addiction. I thought you might like to know about it still since you have many substance abuse patients (I've included OLP's program schedule at the bottom of the email).

Now, what else can I do to feel safe? I told OLP that I had suicidal thoughts
without intent because I am not stupid and didn't want to get admitted. But seriously (I'm sure I will regret that statement in the morning when I am thinking like a rational human being). I am sorry; I am hugely mentally exhausted. Undoubtedly though, I need to do something. Also, will Haldol knock me out? I need to know in case I have to take it during the day when I have all of these kids. Sorry to bombard you with so much at once, I am simply concerned.

As always, thank you so much for everything. Did I mention recently that I think you are exceptional doctor?