You know it's funny now reading back through my posts and the helpful replies. I have been in denial about this whole situation. My ex was and still is a cold unemotional pain in the butt. I don't know what my deal is other than denial. I did my best. Hearing from others especially my daughters proves this. I came from a very dysfunctional family and blind or desensitized to some of the subtle signs and traits the the only way I can explain it. Who am I fooling...myself. I am there from my daughters and that's what is important. Thank you for your observations and comments.