Good morning,

I have read your experiences concerning you relationship with your sister. I had an older sister whom I was always there for her. I gave her emotional time, financial support, took her on vacations etc. It took me 15 years to see the lopsided "relationship" we had. She was never there. I totally missed it because I wanted to have a close family member so badly.

We were raised in extreme dysfunction. She was designated the victim in the family....going to doctor after doctor. She was "unable" to work. She read all night and slept all day. My expectations were low. I wanted her to be healthier than she could possibly be. I overlooked so much pathology so I could have a sister. Eventually, and with much pain, I had to be honest with myself. She was never there for me, nor would she ever be there in the capacity I so desperately wanted her to be.

I hope your sister is healthier than mine and she is capable of giving you support. Perhaps the relationship can survive if you lower your expectations. I realize that is not what you want to hear. She may be incapable to meet you
in the manner you wish for.

Regards,

Sabra