Hi Sourcherry, For me it was not a matter of courage where I sought help. Help came to me because of substance abuse problems that I had from my mid teens. However, after spending much of my life in and out of psychiatric services, it was only recently that I received a diagnosis of BPD. I do remember reading about BPD several years ago and thinking 'that's me' but forgot about it. If I might suggest that you take the 'pill' as prescribed and see if that makes any difference and if not it's really important that you get a referral to get a diagnosis or not. I wish I could have got an early diagnosis because I totally ruined my life in all areas, whether it be through substance abuse or self sabotage because I hated myself so much. Knowing what is 'wrong' is half the battle because you can get help and learn to lead a more healthy and fulfilled life. I wish you well.