So I've mentioned how my wife's libido seemed to suddenly disappear around the first part of last October. After hormone level checks, medication checks, etc, she finally let the cat out of the bag; it's me.

During the time I was taking venlafaxine, I had to fight with anorgasmia. At the time, it made her feel like she wasn't doing a good job sexually. Through this, I ended up developing performance anxiety so when I switched to Viibryd, I began to be able to have an orgasm, but still not through vaginal penetration. A combination of delayed ejaculation due to antidepressants, age and performance anxiety leave me still unable to orgasm through normal penetration.

So in October, even though I thought things were on the mend, Mrs Webgoji fell over the top. The mere thought of sex left her filled with anxiety and worry and her libido suffered mightily. Just walking in the door she would start dreading if I wanted to be intimate. Since then, it's only gotten worse.

I'm not really sure what, if anything, can be done. We're still going to therapy (have been for almost 2 years) and doing lots of relationship work, but I guess the only thing to do is remember some advice from Shantideva:

Please be honest with each other. Sometimes the truth hurts, but we can't solve a problem that doesn't exist.