To me an apology is expressing to someone that I feel bad about something, whether I feel bad for stressing them out, bad for taking up their time and energy, bad for not being there for them when I wanted to be, etc. But I don't feel bad for feeling bad. It's part of my humanity. So I don't apologize for apologizing, heh. It's true, it's how I feel and I want to make sure they understand it, that they understand I don't choose to have symptoms and that I wish that I didn't.

When I have made a wrong choice, and I know it, and I apologize, the apology comes with that bit, as far as owning up to how I made a wrong choice, owning up to my flaws and mistakes, explaining that I know I was wrong. I do it to validate their feelings. I am not just a victim. Sometimes I do something wrong simply because I am human and sometimes I'm cowardly, sometimes I'm selfish, sometimes I'm an a-hole. I own up to it and make a commitment to learn from my mistakes and be a better person going forward.

When I apologize for symptoms that affect other people, I spell that out, too. I'm letting them know that I feel bad, even though I couldn't control something, I still feel bad about it, because I care about them and don't want to upset them or drain them. It's an expression of how I feel about the situation. Nothing more, nothing less.