I feel the same way most of the time, as far as wishing I was just numb and felt nothing. It is even funny I guess how I read all of these negative reviews on atypicals complaining that the medication made them numb, and I'm sitting here fingers crossed hoping that it happens to me. It sounds like a blessing, not a side effect, from where I'm standing. I get mostly dysphoric mania, though. It's like feeling every negative emotion in existence all at the same time, but especially agitation, while my mind is just exploding with intrusive thoughts 24/7. So the idea of being numb just sounds amazing.