So long story short, a girl friend has been dating this guy for 3 years. My friend has two cats and has known from the beginning that her boyfriend is highly allergic to cats, so she's spent 3 years driving back and forth from his house to hers so she can feed her cats. She's told him over the years that she won't move in with him without her cats. She even broke up with him for a short time after he asked her to move in, but said she can't bring the cats. They got back together, but suddenly now he's ready for her to move in and get engaged (he was divorced twice so he was very gun shy to get married again). The two of them also bought very expensive furniture last year. So she tells me now that she's going to move in with him but needs to find a place for her cats. So I emailed her saying I was surprised after 3 years of saying she's not giving up her cats that she's suddenly ok with it. She got very mad at me, saying I was being judgmental, and that she's not going to just throw her cats out on the street or give them to the spca. I told her I didn't say she was, but I was just surprised at the sudden change of heart. She used the excuse of his allergy and the furniture, but she's known about the allergy for 3 years and the furniture since last year. One of her cats is also 13! Who's going to adopt an elderly cat? Well, she hasn't emailed me back in two days. I'm sure she's waiting for me to apologize, but I don't feel I said anything wrong. Our pattern has typically been that she'll tell me in a very harsh way if I've said something to upset her, then I'd cave and apologize because I was afraid of losing a friend, so I'm sure it pissed her off that I didn't apologize right away.

I'm realizing now that it won't be a huge loss if she doesn't want to be friends anymore anyway. She's always been the type to judge me and not use a filter when she tells me exactly how she feels about something I'm doing, yet the minute I question her, she jumps down my throat.

I have to say I'm also concerned as to why this guy suddenly wants to get engaged right away. He told her he doesn't want a long engagement. Sounds to me like he wants to hurry up and get married before he gets scared and changes his mind. They've both been in couples counseling all year.