Hello Genesis --

I'm sorry that you are feeling so bad. I think it's great that your love for children prevents you from harming yourself. When I was in treatment for alcohol addiction, one of the men in recovery said that when he was tempted, he reminded himself what it did to his family and it helped. I said I didn't have anything that would motivate me to stop. He said, "Well, you better get something."

Right now, I feel so low sometimes -- and I don't have anything that makes life worth living. Even my dogs are gone.

So I truly believe that if you have one thing -- and I don't mean to call your children "things" -- that you love so much that it helps you with this temptation, you are blessed in that way.

I also thank you for explaining why you cut yourself -- as a relief for emotional pain. Other people on these forums have mentioned self-cutting, and I have not been able to understand why people do it, and I daresay there are other reasons and psychological dynamics than the one that motivates you. But I've always been afraid to ask, "why do you do it?" because I didn't want to seem insensitive, intrusive, or offensive.

So thank you for sharing that here.

I hope you will get the help you need and that things get better for you.

(((((Genesis)))))