I seem to have entered a new chapter in life and I am a little confused on how to deal with the new challenges.

All my life I was trying to get to a place where I can be happy or at least pain-less. Escape the abusive household where I grew up, overcome my phobias, anxiety, depression, then I got together with a man who continuously made me feel like I'm not enough and I tried to prove him wrong for a very long time. I was constrantly battling to feel worthy or just not have the pain of feeling fatally flawed. It was ugly, but I was so driven! I had so much motivation, achieved so much, got so much better in just a couple of years!

But then I did get better. I feel positively happy most days now. Sometimes the past comes to haunt me, but it's getting increasingly rare while I can deal with it better and better and I think it needs just a bit more time to settle. I have a fantastic boyfriend, great friends, I'm learning from books, learning a new language, I have my crafty hobbies, everything just feels so calm and mellow. There are problems in my life, but they don't threaten my self-worth, I don't feel that desperate need to change things, so I'm not really motivated to do anything. A couple of months ago I lost my job, I just shrugged and found a small part-time thing that pays the bills and allows me to feed myself, more or less. I strangely find am not bothered by that. I can't imagine myself living like this for years, but I just don't feel the burning need to change it, like I got used to. But without the drive, the daily struggle, my life is becoming so boring. I'm missing out on stuff, I'm not moving anywhere. I miss being able/willing to achieve things just by sheer determination even if it felt like I'm falling apart in the process.

What other things besides pain can I use to run on? I do have ideals, values, but they're mostly sort of wishy-washy slow moving things that don't really prompt me into action.