Quote:
Originally Posted by Mantids
So I've been aware of what I think are alters for around a year now. The first instance that made me realize it wasn't just me was Absinthe, a manic powerful god who protected me.
Absinthe came into play after i left a pretty upsetting and traumatic relationship. This alter stayed with me for quite a few months and I developed around 6 other alters who were more similar to me during this period. I don't remember much about them because I didn't think to record them and their personalities anywhere.
I don't remember very much about the incident, but one day I got really upset and self-conscious about being multiple and all of the alters except for Absinthe collapsed back into me. Absinthe stayed for a couple more months before it shifted form slightly to become Veritus, who had all of the same powers but also had a defined physical form and a more palatable personality.
About a month and a half ago, Veritus left me. I don't have any recollection as to why, but I was devastated. Being alone in my head freaked me out so bad and I felt really self-negative about it. In the time since Veritus left, I have developed 2 other alters on separate occasions, but both died (??) within the span of 3 days.
I've never gotten any sort of diagnosis or medical opinion on this because of financial issues. I just really want some advice on what's up with me because I really miss having other people in my head to help me survive, and I get really down in the dumps about it.
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well one thing that jumps out at me in your post is that these are religious figures, in your word powerful gods that protect you. this in itself would knock out the diagnosis of dissociative type alters simply because of the new diagnostic criteira rules out religious factors as being part of the symptoms. ie the alters cant be perceived from going through religious rituals, perceived as gods or other religious figures that are part of religions. thats not saying alters cant be religious as in having their own faith\spirituality, go to church or temple or what ever other religion they practice. its just that they can not be because of and percieived as religious figures like gods, (its one of the distinctions between dissociative disorders vs schizophrenic disorders, schizophrenic type disorders does include things like believing one self is a god or having gods for alters/protectors)
my point is your profile says you are here in the USA and since 2013 the diagnostics prohibit religious figures as alters so based on that my advice is contact a treatment provider. here in america all americans must have basic health insurance. if you cant afford a mental health treatment provider go to your social services office and sign up for state medicaid program. this program is for low income (and others too) that supplies basic medical and mental health coverage and in most cases dental. after you have signed up you will receive a membership pamplet that has a listing of all treatment providers in your location that acceepts medicaid. then you choose one and call them or your medicaid caseworker will assign you a treatment provider. then you can go and get tested for all mental disorders that includes having religious figures as insiders\parts\alters.