Sorry if this is well worn topic for all of you.

I'm struggling because I've a hard session and having trouble between sessions after opening Pandora's box of past events. CBT T sent me a very confusing message today in session. He wants me to occasionally reach out to him after a bad session and email him. But then he put a TON of exceptions/qualifiers around this. Don't do it over safety issues. Don't come to expect it. Don't expect a reply within 24 hrs. Don't do it too much. Don't get too dependent. But I want you to do this anyways.

So confused. I really need a T who can be there for me but he seems hypervigiallant against any neediness from me.

Which hurts, because in general I only contact him when we've agreed to touch base. I feel like I've held back a tsunami of neediness. He has no idea.

There are lots of good things in this working relationship. He's definitely one of the warmer T's I've ever had. Part of me worries that he isn't 100% right for me, yet better than many out there.

Open to any ideas thoughts experiences-thanks!