I rarely lash out or "lose control" but my SH and Sui behaviour has hurt many of my family and friends. Really I should have gone back to the hospital instead of toughing it out at home, my pdocs were pushing it for over a month. I think my relationships have suffered and I am once again not sure how to repair them. Usually it is me apologising and grovelling but this thread makes me realise I WAS sick and not myself, I have nothing to apologise for.