Thank you for all the supportive and kind words!

My action since his outburst is very much the wounded animal response. I have withdrawn, keep quiet, speak only when spoken to, well the occasional 'what is happening today etc', but nothing natural or spontaneous. (Sex is definitely out of the question!)

Since the incident I have slept one night on the couch, then back in the bedroom, have cooked dinner twice again (and had my rightful share this time !) We have been out to a social event and as long as we were among other people it was as if nothing had happened. He mixed on his own with others and I mixed on my own. At times we were socialising together with some of our friends as if nothing was wrong. All very very weird indeed!

It has been a few nights now since he threw his toys out the cot and as in the past it takes approximately 5 days for him to start conversing with me again. Tonight he mentioned that we have a dinner on tomorrow night, something he says he mentioned to me a while ago. I remember somewhat of what he said but not the details. Anyhow, he says I can come with if I want to. I get the feeling it is a 'social ladder climbing' dinner and if a husband had to arrive without his spouse it might seem inappropriate. Nevermind that, I like to meet new people so I am going. Life is full of opportunities which I will not get if I stay at home.

I have arranged to see a counselor and unfortunately have to wait until the 10th to see this person. I had spoken to her over the phone and she seems caring and interested and did not mind me asking her some very direct questions.

I have also taken action as far as my health is concerned. Going for a general check-up, just to make sure there are no gremlins hidden somewhere etc etc.

As far as building my business is concerned, I spent most of the day setting up meetings for next week to develop my business. I have invested a lot of time and money in trying to get my business up and running here. So I do not really want to take my share of my marriage and up and go. I need to stay and give this a try. I am getting on in age and it does not get easier. The competition out there is young and much much prettier.

As positive as I sound now, this morning at 6am I found myself sitting behind the couch (ouch!) flat on the floor crying my heart out. The crying got worse when my adult cat rubbed herself against me. This simple display of affection from an ANIMAL was just too much for me.

Counseling is as much support as I will get here where I live now. There are no centres for women etc. My support system is on another continent. (sounds like I live on a different planet )

Thanks you guys, this forum is a great help!