I can relate to most extent in your situation, since it happened to me countless of times.

There were days I woke up with a really foul mood due to my downswings. I could not bring myself out of the bed at all. Even if I did, I couldn't put effort into brushing my teeth at all, tidying up my bed, and even get myself a cup of water at regular interval despite myself noticing that I was starting to feel thirsty.

It was the period of time I drifted away from my usual routine, I had no motivations to even make my day productive. I just sat down and started grinding out on Runescape, but I felt really empty and choked with sadness when the bad memories start to flood my mind. I got off the game when my inner energy was too low for me to play for long hours.

Like you, I tend to drift off into daydreaming about the good old times between me and her, mixed with some infatuations. One moment, I smile to myself for knowing her and the next, I was dying to reach for a state of emotional numbness because it was too much for me to handle, knowing that I wouldn't have gotten into an awkward state if I had been wiser.

Times like this, I had no one to talk to, since my texting buddy cut off with me long ago. It was a blow to me, that I had to talk myself in letting time pass and I will cycle back to upswing.

I acknowledge that it's not something that we have intentions to avoid cleaning up of our house. You are not alone at all, I'm willing to offer a listening ear if you wish to talk to me in private.