Okay so it sounds like you (or your ASD talking) think you have done everything you can to discern this "hot stove" but apparently you are unable to do so. Time then to take a look at the hot stove.
If you are choosing women in your age group (36) then they probably will have children and are looking for a "dad" for them. Not that Aspies can't be good Dads, I'm sure they can, but to someone else's child, this is probably a big challenge. A mother will pick up on this and her child is going to come first.
Anyone in the next generation down is too young for you, in all aspects, period.
So maybe someone who is 10 or more years older would be more appropriate. But, I will say, I doubt she is going to be into a threesome, like the one you recently got out of.
If you have had STRONG feelings for 4 women in 6 months, something ain't right. Why are you attaching yourself so quickly? Looking for something your own mother didn't/couldn't provide?
I'm OBVIOUSLY not a therapist and know nothing about you. My final comment is that you seem very angry and that would be something most women would run from.