I guess it's just taken me until now, with my recent situations to finally realize how I've been treated and that it was wrong. I guess a lightbulb just went off with me in the last couple weeks and I know I don't want to put up with being treated that way anymore. I'm sure had I been able to afford therapy years ago, it may not have taken me so long. I think part of me was just afraid to leave them because I didn't want to lose all my friends, but I know now that these people were never my friends.

I'm about to make financial arrangements with Consumer Credit Counseling to consolidate my credit cards. Once that's done, I'll see how much money I have left. Unfortunately right now I literally don't have much money at all. If a sliding scale is $40 per session, that's how much my co-pay is, and if they'd want to see me more than once a week, I won't have the money.

I am looking into meetups. Trying to find ones that don't cost money right now. I like hiking, but right now it's too hot for me, so in the fall I'll go on those. I'm interested in photography, so I'll look into those groups. I see a lot of groups where they go to dinner or movies, but I don't have the money for that right now.

I do appreciate your honesty. I think the sore spot with me right now is that all these people I thought were friends also got on me because I wasn't acting the way they wanted at the time they wanted. We're all on our own journey and on our own timeline.