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Originally Posted by PinkFlamingo99
This is totally confusing. And a little hurtful.
I felt the same way when I asked my ex-T if I could still call her if I really needed her (when she was in the process of tightening her "boundaries") and she said "don't call me on Christmas." Like she needed to tell me that even though I rarely called her without it being prearranged and OFFERED by her first.
The contradictiry messages are confusing, esp when not clearly laid out. I wish people would be either more specific or put less qualifiers. I like more specific guidelines so I don't have to worry how much is too much. If I worry too much about asking for too much, it makes reaching out impossible.
Would you feel comfortable emailing him about stuff at this point?
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Thanks, and yes we've been e-mailing back and forth. I don't think he realizes he is confusing me although I told him he was. He thinks my one of my core issues is being able to enjoy support without constantly worrying about losing it. That part makes sense. Te qualifiers are weird to me because I haven't abused contact between sessions.
Even on day 1 of seeing him he said that his phone number "wasn't a hotline" and I had only just met him!! I hadn't started seeing him yet at that point.
He is helpful in many ways. This is one of my biggest issues w/him however.