Quote:
Originally Posted by lunaticfringe
It's also hard being so mercurial, feelings are changing constantly so one minute I might feel one way that would constitute a hospitalization but a few hours later I may feel differently. Each time I've been in the hospital at one point I've always been like WHY AM I HERE I'M FINE...so that's a tough part of this. At what point does it get bad enough to say ok, it's time.
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Definitely this, as well. The other night I was worked up into an absolute enraged frenzy and was having mild hallucinations, with horrible intrusive thoughts. A couple hours later, though, it changed to a very heavy melancholy and my body hurt. I felt like I might burst into tears at any moment for no apparent reason. Then I sat outside smoking, finally had one of those deep, not-breathing cries, but it only last about 30 seconds. Then I felt blank and aloof. Then I freaked out again like half an hour later. Endlessly looping until I self-harmed and passed out. Woke up a few hours later and felt completely normal/fine. Made some decaf coffee and listened to some music for a while. Same old, same old.
Then, lats night I actually got about 8 hours of sleep out of nowhere. So it is over? I never know what to expect. Or what to do.