Thank you! You are very kind to talk it through with me.

I wonder if I am concerned whether to trust her considering she doesn't seem to give much thought to answering me. She may give options that are the easiest for her rather than the best for me. But perhaps my emotions are hindering my ability to consider this clearly, prior to this I thought she was perfectly reasonable although I had a few concerns about her ability as a therapist but that's more whether we would 'click' or not.

But you are perfectly right and my goal is to stop self harming, get more stable and to progress with my life. Whether that be with a therapist or not.

My concern about meeting is simply that I get scared easily by people. I don't like going near people if I have huge emotions but have to push them down. However I can detach and do it, and as you say I should keep my main goal clearly in mind. I can definitely do it when I have that set in front of me. In fact just thinking it through it already feels like I could be in control if I detach her and me and all that mess from the objective.

I shall email her now. Perhaps I shall ask if she could offer me the options in an email but if not try and arrange a time convenient for me to meet. Having these problems are hard because I don't know what the underlying issue in my head is, if it were a broken leg I could look up guidelines and treatment plans and weigh up options but therapy stuff is pretty arbitrary and it seems to boil down to me being sensitive and learning to manage that in my daily life.

Thank you again. It means a lot.